I Got Low
by fluffygammawolf
Summary: Bruce can't believe he hurt Tony after all this time. All it shows is that he was just a monster, a monster that needs to be killed. Rated M for attempted suicide. Trigger warning suicide. There's fluff at the end


Bruce stared down the barrel of the gun with tears in his eyes. He was in the secret room he and Pepper had agreed to make in the avengers tower. The only thing she didn't know about was the gun he had hid in there just in case. To be honest Bruce hadn't been coping to well with what happened in New York, and when Loki's scepter had been able to make him hulk out that easily it made him question everything. It made him think of how he had left Betty just to keep her safe, and how now he was living with people in a populated city. Sure there were good days when he and Tony would joke around or just hang out in the labs or get coffee, but everytime Bruce and Tony would get closer the more Bruce felt like he would hurt Tony. It had gotten to the point where Bruce was having nightmares that the hulk would just crush Tony. Because of the nightmares Bruce would avoid sleep as much as possible. Even Tony had begun to notice the dark circles under Bruce's eyes and how he seemed to be tortured on the inside. The lack of sleep and constant worrying had put Bruce on edge which was a bad combination. Especially when his lab partner tried to console him. Bruce just snapped and shoved Tony away from him with a lot more force than what he had wanted to use. It sent Tony catapulting into a wall and it broke Tony's arm, hence why he and Pepper were gone at the moment. To Bruce this was so close to what happened in his nightmares that he took it as a sign. A sign that said he would always be a monster and that he would always hurt those he was close to. Bruce took the opportunity to go to the hulk proof room and he grabbed the gun and put it in his mouth. He had been here before and it didn't work, but Bruce hoped to god it would this time. His throat hurt from how tight the held back sobs were making it. Tears blurred his vision, and with a shakey finger he pulled the trigger causing a burning pain to erupt in his head.

•••

Tony and Pepper had just gotten home when a loud bang echoed through the building. Tony quickly ran to the origin point of the sound only to find a room he hadn't even remembered building. He could here Bruce groaning and crying from inside the room and Tony's heart beat quickened.

"J hack the fucking room lock!" Tony yelled as he feverently tried to hack Bruce's code. It took what felt like a million years for the door to open and Tony rushed in. Anger filled him as he looked at Bruce crying on the floor with the gun in one hand and a bloody bullet in the other.

"What the fuck are you doing Banner?" He asked, his voice was dangerously quiet.

"Getting rid of a monster…" Bruce's voice was hoarse and pained.

"And how's that going?" Tony asked as he kicked the gun away from Bruce, ignoring the blood looked underneath Bruce's head.

"Another failure… because that's all I can do… fucking fail at anything I try…" Bruce was clutching at the bullet in his hand.

Tony grabbed Bruce by the collar and lifted him up, "You listen here Banner you are not a failure! You are not a fucking monster…" Tony's voice was shaking and he didn't even know he had begun to cry.

Bruce's dark brown eyes were full of sadness and tears as he looked at Tony, "But I am… I hurt you…"

Tony just pulled Bruce closer, so that there was only a few inches between them. "It was a fucking accident Bruce… you've been stressed out for months now…"

"Don't make excuses for me." Bruce said as he looked away.

"They're not fucking excuses Banner! It's the fucking truth! When are you going to stop wallowing in your own pit of despair to realize that everytime you do this you're killing me on the inside!" Tony finally broke into angry tears.

"I… Tony I-"

"Just shut it right now! Look… everytime I come home and see you in some depressed state or trying to find a cure for the hulk it kills me… cause I know that you're just going to end up hurting yourself! A-and coming home to this… it's even worse!"

"Tony-"

"No Bruce just listen! What if you had succeeded? What of Pepper and I came home and found you dead on the floor? Do you know how much that would hurt me? Do you know how selfish you would be?" Tony was practically screaming through his tears at Bruce.

"Tony I'm sorry… I never meant to hurt you…" Bruce was quiet, silent tears streaming down his face. "And I will hurt you… because that's what always happens isn't it…"

"Bruce fucking Banner don't you fucking DARE try to use that as some half assed excuse to convince me to let you leave." Tony growled. "I'm putting my foot down now. Either you give up these thoughts that you're a failure or I'm kicking you out… because I can't deal with the looming thought that you might actually succeed in killing yourself next time."

Bruce looked very hurt by Tony's words, "I'll just pack my bags then…" he said as he pulled away from Tony's grip.

Tony's eyes filled with anger and he yanked Bruce back to him and kissed him passionately. "You're fucking staying Bruce." He growled when he stopped the kiss.

Bruce was shocked by the kiss but his spirits lifted slightly, "T-Tony?"

"I love you Bruce… that's why it hurts me so much when you get like this… you're amazing and smart and kind… and you can't see it…" Tony said softly as he wiped Bruce's tears. "Now let's get you an ice pack and some ice cream."

"And a movie?" Bruce asked quietly.

Tony smirked , "I thought that was an obvious yes." He began to lead Bruce out of the room and to the elevator. "I hope you know I'm destroying that gun and keeping a close eye on you now." He added once they were in the elevator.

Bruce looked down at his feet with a small smile, "I figured that…" he sniffled. "I love you…" he whispered.


End file.
